kaia marie photography

collaboration

2010-02-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

My friend Ian has been brewing up a few story ideas for graphic novels and has asked me to help him with his upcoming project. He wants to use actual photographs as the illustration for his story. Although this would take a lot of time and dedication, I thought it would be a fun thing to tackle.

There's no script yet, but we have started on some character concepts.

To a great artist

2010-02-11T10:43:00.001-08:00

Rest in peace Alexander McQueen.

A truly inspirational designer who showed the world that fashion can still be all about the art form and not simply about commercialism.

I'm feeling very strange about my first week interning back at Milk this week. First the snow storm, that left me stranded in the city for the night, and the moment I get home, I learn my favorite designer, whose collection was supposed to be presented today at Milk to start New York Fashion Week.

Overdue Philippines post

2010-01-26T19:07:00.001-08:00

I am writing you from the forgotten islands off the coast of Asia. A land where the corrupt government allows the rich and poor remain on their extreme ends of the economic spectrum. The beaches here are white-sanded and green-watered, the city is littered with both squatters and high-rise condos, and the most fashionable thing to do is save money.

This is where I was born. It's the place I have almost no memories of and have only revisited once, 15 years ago. I have so many pictures and stories I want to share of my trip to the Philippines so far. I am going on week two and I have already taken over 3,000 photos. I'm going to have to pick only about 3 to share until I can return to the states, since the internet here is almost non-existent and extremely slow. Upon arrival at the NAIA airport in Manila, I was met with a million kicks to my senses and I wish I could truly share them all.

Enjoy what I can be patient enough with loading.

Mabuhay.

Packing Polaroid

2010-01-07T12:10:00.001-08:00

There's a reason Polaroid cameras came back down from attics and grew even more popular in the recent years than they were in the 70's. For one, Polaroids are like black and white film: they can make anything you shoot look vaguely artistic. There's also the instant nostalgia and gratification of seeing the old-looking photos that you took two seconds ago. Although Polaroid film is no longer available in stores, the Polaroid hobbyists have been clinging onto the remaining packages for as long as they can. I found "lost Polaroids packs" available at Urban Outfitters for 20 bucks a pack. That opens up a whole different can of worms and is a bit of a digression from what I really wanted to post about. I use Polaroids for journaling purposes. It's easy. Everywhere I go, I take a picture, and instead of waiting around to get it developed, I have an instant and perfect-sized picture available for pasting onto notebook pages. In two days, I will be going back to the Philippines to rediscover my roots. This trip is the perfect journaling opportunity. I'm already packing my DSLR and an extra lens so I can have all sorts of photographic orgasms during the three weeks I'll be there. But I've been teetering back and forth between wanting to pack the Polaroid camera and using up my remaining packs of film. The pros, in my mind outweigh the cons. It's bulkiness makes it so inconvenient, and I'm not sure I'll have many opportunities to bring it ALONG with the DSLR but goddammit, when else can I take polaroids of the Philippines? Right? or stupid to waste so much energy into packing this extra piece of equipment? help. In the meantime, check out my little collage of my Polaroid past. ©Kaia Marie Balcos

if i could name this..

2010-01-05T14:46:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking of renaming this blog "empty promises" cause that's what I feel I've been giving. I'm not sure if doing so would jinx it and make it so that I no longer leave all these projects undone and actually do what I promise! Or would it just justify me not getting around to things and make me feel like it's okay. I don't know.

Countdown to the trip: 5 days!

I wish these workout classes didn't leave me almost paralyzed for half the day.

the end.

winters never get old

2010-01-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

Every year when November comes rolling in, I start cursing life and my complaining increases 110%. It seems I never remember how much I despise the cold until my social life has come to a complete halt.. all voluntarily.

Okay, I admit this may be a sad and sorry excuse for my lack of posts, but it is true. It's also the reason the past posts have all been pictures of family. I haven't been seeing as much of my friends wince we're all in hibernation shaking our fists at every gust of wind that burns the skin and warmth off our faces every time we have to go outside.

I have been planning away though for shoots and personal projects that I want to get done as soon as the weather warms up again and it's a bit more reasonable to make my friends stand outside for a few hours without feeling too guilty. I've got a few things brewing up that I'm super excited about and once these sketches are done I'll be posting them. Here's a little hint: do you remember loving Dr. Seuss? Corduroy the bear? the Velveteen Rabbit?

so excited. I'm also excited for returning to the intern life in NYC once I return from my trip. Even if it means I won't afford to go out as much, I'm ready to be back on track again.

I'm also looking forward to saying goodbye to the 5 pounds that have been creeping up on me since the temperatures have dropped (and since my school photography season has ended).

AND you bet I'll have a whole new wardrobe once I make use of my American dollars in the Philippines. Hopefully it will still go a long enough way. This is going to be the best Christmas present ever.. No I don't mean just the clothes. I'm ready for a real eye-opening, humbling, and inspiring experience. Okay enough talk.

one hour and 8 minutes until

2009-12-31T19:51:00.001-08:00

2010.

Every year I have to celebrate New Year's Eve at home. We also gather 13 different kinds of round fruits, make sure all the lights are turned on, keep money in our pockets, prepare food for the table, and jump and down to ensure a healthy, wealthy, and prosperous new year. It always pains me to know that no matter how much I want to go out and be with friends drinking into the new year, I have to follow Filipino traditions and stay at home with my family, but this year, I'm looking forward to really getting to know where all of these things come from.

I can't wait until 2010. The past year has given me a lot of adventures, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of wishing and hoping and dreaming and running off track, and I hope the next year will bring back the motivation I had back in 2008.

f is for filipino family

2009-12-26T19:49:00.000-08:00

Any time I am down my friends and my family never fail to re-inspire me. This holiday season has given me everything I needed to boost myself up: a reminder of the never-ending support a great family can offer, a visit to the two best friends who can keep me laughing for days, and the realization that I'm pretty lucky to have both of those things.

2009 has been a tough year for many people, but I am so certain that the next year is going to bring a lot of hope and a greater appreciation for some very basic things.

Here's to life!

And in the next month, I'll be updating from the Philippines!

oh the holidays

2009-12-14T15:12:00.000-08:00

It's that busy time of the year again. My family actually threatened to "postpone" Christmas because it seems no one is really in the mood this year. Luckily, they came to their senses and realized it would be a terrible tradition to take away from "the kids."

I would have been just as disappointed if my family didn't gather together in gluttony as usual around this time of the year. Since I've graduated college though, presents for me have stopped coming. Considering they assume I can now pay for my own things via a job, there's no need to hand over the little envelopes with 50 bucks in it. Growing up truly stinks! I haven't been sure whether this unofficial initiation into adulthood also means that I must now have my own presents to hand out to the little ones. No more attaching my name to my mom's. I've decided it's not quite that time yet; however, I've been finding some great little gag presents for little cousins that I think would be a much more personal gift than a 50 dollar envelope. Besides, giving isn't just about giving. For me, it's about the little smirk that shows up on their faces when they realize someone actually cared enough to figure them out.

This is our tree this year. Last year our color theme was blue. It looked like Hanukkah. This year, we're keeping it traditional. It looks lovely, and my mother has been having a little too much fun finding all sorts of fabrics to match our tree.

Blind Pilot at the Bell House

2009-11-21T16:43:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much I had listened to Blind Pilot during my summer trip to Europe. Watching them at the Bell House last night brought back so many feelings of freedom and summer and I was instantly reminded of the smells and sounds of train travels through Spanish fields and Swiss mountains. It's great how powerful music is. I watched as they played "The Story I Heard" and realized that tears had started running down my face.

The show was amazing. I took some pictures for Noise Lens and should be conducting an email interview with Blind Pilot soon. The new additions to their band are the nicest people ever. And to top it all off the opening bands were equally as entertaining and beautiful to listen to.

What a good night. Even if I ended up spending $100 thanks to having to hitch a cab home to North Jersey from Hoboken. I need to move to New York asap. There are some wonderful people.

Mischief in Madison

2009-11-19T08:21:00.000-08:00

How could I resist the alliteration?

When you don't make it in time to catch the sun, it's always fun to play with flash. Of course when that fun wears off, there are always other ways to find entertainment. I don't condone this kind of behavior, but I didn't ever stop them from taking the balloons from the high school cause I thought it would make some interesting photos. Does that make me guilty by association?

©Kaia Marie Balcos

to be this happy in new york

2009-11-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my friend Jackie. She's been living in New York for several years, including her years at Fordham University. She's certainly had her fair share of fights with the city, but after talking to her, I realized she has finally reached that happiness point of being comfortable with her job, with herself, and with the place she is living in.

I want to be there soon. I've been so happy with my relationships, with my adventures into New York every weekend, with my family and friends..but I'm hoping I too will make it to the point where everyone I love can be in the same place and I am truly in love with my job. One day. I'm beginning to wonder what it is I can actually see myself doing in five years. I would still love to work at a magazine, be around talented people, take pictures, and travel. Can I do all of the above? Is there an occupation that lists these that is willing to pay me? Because quite honestly, taking school portraits is getting old and boring.

2009-11-09T18:40:00.001-08:00

I told my best friend as I pulled into South Station that coming back to Boston was like revisiting an imagined college past that I forgot ever happened. I was wandering through the ridiculously clean transportation hub feeling so many instances of deja vu that I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. Over time, relationships, financial situations, goals, and people change; however, the cities that hold distant memories remain constant...maybe with a few new stores in odd places. (They are building an Urban Outfitters around the corner from my old apartment. eh) Boston for me is always a total escape from reality. It's always bittersweet having to leave it along with the people I love. I thought I'd share some pieces of my weekend. I'm feeling like a time traveller. When will teleporting become a reality?

The musical revolution of China

2009-11-03T15:31:00.000-08:00

Last week, I incorrectly labeled all artwork featured at the Powerhouse as Japanese. I thought it must be Japanese since they're celebrating the launch of a Japanese toy camera company and serving Japanese beer and featuring Japanese DJs. I'm glad I made that mistake because it led me to read a little bit more about what the images were really of.

Taken from a basement of punk venue D-22 in Beijing, the portraits document the lively underground scene that thrives despite the country's limiting socialist ideals and government-controlled media. Photographer Matthew Niederhauser captures the absolute passion in all of the musicians faces. Punk's true form is far from dead in Beijing.

In addition to Niederhauser's photographs, the book Sound Kapital also features poster illustrations by Beijing graphic novelist Ca Zhuxi.

If you want to learn more about the book, visit the website, or even better, attend the book's launch party at the Powerhouse Arena this Thurday! Powerhouse Arena is located at 37 Front St. in Dumbo, Brooklyn (York St. stop on the F train). The launch party takes place from 7 until 9:30.

See you all there!

all images © Matthew Niederhauser

Halloween is my favorite holiday

2009-11-02T15:22:00.000-08:00

The magic of Christmas had worn out years ago, but every year, I still get extremely anxious and excited in my stomach for a holiday that exists not because of its original religious celebration of saints, but because of commercialism. Even the secular version of Halloween no longer prevails in my mind. I love Halloween for the pure drunken happiness it brings to everyone whether they've consumed alcohol or not. Although it would be absolutely surreal if everybody truly celebrated the dead and dressed as zombies, I think seeing a million slutty officers, little divas, and cartoon characters brought to life is even more entertaining.

I just love Halloween. AND to be honest, I'd much rather have it on a Wednesday so that celebrations can last two weekends. We'll have it again in a few years I suppose.

me in costume with my twin in costume

A night at the Powerhouse Arena

2009-10-31T09:28:00.001-07:00

The Superheadz launch party was an extremely pleasant experience. There's nothing better than being able to drink some beer and wine while wandering through a bookstore with some crazy beats spinning as your background music. I could have spent hours in there reading through all the books. I ended up buying the New York's Bravest (collection of photo essays from the Daily news..I was a photojournalism major) for five bucks and taking some really sneaky pictures of all the guests. A few hysterically awkward interactions came out of it. I don't know how New Yorkers got such a terrible reputation, cause behind the rushed, tense personalities, are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet.

Anyway, the art on the walls featured several portraits of punked out characters from Tokyo, graphic design posters for a Japanese band, and a few architectural pieces. It wasn't anything particularly amazing, but it certainly made me want to travel to Japan. It would have been nice to be able to actually play with the cameras a bit more, but I guess that would be way too trusting of people with beers in their hands.

This post can also be seen on NoiseLens.net

knee high no, leg high boots

2009-10-28T17:36:00.001-07:00

One of the multimedia videos up in today's NYT style section is called "On the Street, A Story With Legs." It calls attention to a current trend that is apparently bursting at the seams in Paris. This trend, as street reporter Bill Cunningham says, requires a lot of patience and a lot of dough. In the multimedia piece, he talks about the variety of ultra-long boots that are available in Paris. Some designers, such as Louis Vuitton and Marc Jacobs, have truly succeeded in keeping this trend sexy and subtle. Others, however, were so extreme that I was shocked people actually spent over $1,000 on them (or euros I guess). Especially during a recession! I feel it's a line that's been abused lately, but come on. Prada, for example, makes "fisherman boots," which literally look as they sound. Is it really okay to walk around with horse hairs dragging behind you? Do you really have time to put on pants that double as boots? AND on top of that- these pants lace up... all the way up.

I don't get it. Then again, next year, when the trend finally hits New York, I hate to admit that I'll undoubtedly be aching for them (tall boots that is, not so much the horse hair or boot-pants).

I'd like to see someone slip those on. Actually, I'd like someone to time it. To be honest, the more I look at these ones, the more I am attracted to them.

success.
(images from couture.com, edited by me)

(image from newyorktimes.com)
fail fail fail.

Prada, seriously. That's just too much
(image from weardrobe.com)

Noise Lens

2009-10-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Anybody reading this should go check out www.noiselens.net

My friend Nathan and his buddy Sam have been working very hard at putting together this amazing blog that serves as an artistic/musical outlet for anyone who wants to be a part of it. It keeps the conversation open for anything related to music or art. Right now there are several music reviews, band interviews, and photos including one of my own.

I'm trying to get as many people to join because as someone who lacks a bit of inspiration at times, it's nice to talk to other people about things, find ideas, and get some feedback on my own work.

Believe me. It's an awesome site.

Moving on to other things. I edited one of my pictures from two weeks ago of the girl in plaid and fur. That's a lie because I really edited several of them. I wish I had kept the before and afters of all of them but I forgot to "save as copy" on photoshop and ended up overwriting some of the originals. Here are some though.

Here's a before and after:

Terrible lighting and everything. I would have trashed this picture if I hadn't been in such a good mood for editing today

cropped and lightened and all sorts of fun!

another one that's just too dark

Also, this past week I have been falling in love with the fall foliage. It's finally happening! The leaves are turning a more reddish hue and floating through the air like magic. I love autumn so much. Once I have a little more time, I'd really like to go around my block and snap as many pictures as I can. I hope I catch it before the storms blow away every single leaf. During my run today, everything looked so picturesque and perfect. I wish I could carry around a camera while running cause I get too tired to go back out once I'm done.

I did manage to snap this picture on my home from work. There's this abandoned factory in Fairfield, NJ that I would love to do a shoot at one day.

life life

2009-10-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

life
isn't a competition
it's a learning experience
and we all should let ourselves
learn
from
one another.

free drinks and good company

2009-10-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

You can't always expect good art, but this time around, it didn't matter, especially after one of the pieces involved crowd participation and a soccer ball.

Last weekend at the Grace Exhibition Space in Bushwick, my friends and I went to check some performance art show not really knowing what to expect and really only hoping for some good free booze (a great way to spend a weekend recession style). We ended up at a Redas Dirzys and Martin Zet show. I thought it was a bit contrived and the Eastern European artists droned on for a little too long while explaining the concept behind their three-sided football performance, but I think I'm pretty satisfied with the hours we spent watching some interesting characters and making new friends. I especially love my dear Master Jeffrey (or Geoffrey), who insisted that I meet his extremely fierce Filipino friend, Velma. Apparently we would have gotten along just grandly.

new jersey

2009-10-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

Being in New Jersey, and specifically only being in New Jersey, has brought me back to my high school days in so many ways. I'm not sure I should bore the world with my personal reminiscences, but I'm going to.

Autumn especially is a season that reminds me of my 20 minute drives to my high school, going to football games, and meeting up with friends for shows. Lately, I've been doing a lot of the same things, only this time around I am of legal drinking age, which changes the venues of the shows and get-togethers I attend.

Last night my friends and I went to a Delta Falling show out in Passaic Park, NJ. The band was made up of some familiar faces that I had not seen in four years. Local bands and shows with audiences made up of really close friends and soon to be close strangers are what made my high school experience in New Jersey so unforgettable and enjoyable. I must say, I really don't mind growing up in this state, regardless of all the other terrible smells and people that come from it. I'm glad we all found this little niche in the armpit of the country.

lasers

2009-10-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

It's back! Alright it isn't really, unfortunately. One of the job perks for working with the very photography company that brought laser backgrounds in the first place, is being able to take a million portraits for training and screw with it a bit. Today I received about 5 free portrait packages from my training week, all taken by my colleagues.

The new modern backgrounds are pretty and all-- but I must say, I still miss the lasers.

Here I am in third grade and today. In 3rd grade I wore my Pocahontas bow because I was a little overly obsessed with the Disney movie. I think I even spent recess acting it out with my best friend. I don't know why I choose to embarrass myself over the internet.

edit: THEY ACTUALLY STILL HAVE LASERS! I found out that some high schools actually request it for senior portraits. weird.

wild thing

2009-10-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

I tested a model named Anna this weekend. She was the sweetest girl ever and I loved that we both were on the same exact page. I also had my friend Kimmy help out. Everyone brought their own clothes and without any kind of coordination- we all ended up bringing something plaid. This set features the clothes I put on Anna- I wish I looked this good in my own things.

Here's my little hunter turned hunted.

noise lens

2009-10-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

My friend Nathan used to have this blog up when we were in high school and he's bringing it back. I'll be in charge of the very small photo section. I believe the majority of the admins will be focusing on music. Anyway- I thought it'd be good. To do an introductory portrait section- a sort of hello.. my name is ___.

I'll keep everyone updated one the site once it's up and running, but I can say that I'm really excited for it. It'll be a really sweet music/art community. Posting open to all, critiques open to all, shows and exhibitions open as well.

Anyway- here's a little taste of the portrait session- Gillian and Nate had to take mine. I have a few more admins left to photograph too.

I think we're looking like a badass group.

these shoes were made for walking.. not

2009-10-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

I bought this pair of Aldo shoes in the spring. I fell in love with them when I tried them on at the store, and I even managed to reason with myself that these heels were manageable to walk in and "so comfortable". It wasn't until I walked off the carpeted floor onto concrete that I realized walking in these shoes was nearly impossible for me. But, of course, I never returned them because I was so in love with how well they looked with jeans and how long they made my legs look.

I've only worn them once before- at my college "senior ball" and actually only wore them for only a fraction of the night -- switching between these and a pair of flat sandals for dancing and walking. This weekend, I forced myself to wear them all night. I didn't even bring a change of shoes for when I wanted to give up.

The end result?

Falling onto the sidewalk, some cat calls, and the worst blisters ever.

I think it was still worth the 90 bucks.

I just hope I can wear them again.

my first wedding

2009-09-27T19:54:00.001-07:00

I photographed my good friend's sister's wedding yesterday. I wasn't the main photographer- but it was my first wedding that I have shot--where I actually got to keep all my pictures.

There's a lot more to learn but that's what these things are for right?

BURBERRY PRORSUM - LFW

2009-09-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

(screen shot of the runway video.)

The Burberry Prorsum runway show - go London Fashion week go!

I absolutely what Burberry's done with the trench coat- so classic and so modern. They've also pulled off the socks with sandals look for the Prorsum runway show-don't think I'd mind seeing that around if its done as well.

Burberry's Spring 2010 colors include some beautiful pastels and metallics and the usual khakis. I loveee it! So many blues, and purples, and yellows, and pinks even!
Click here to link to a replay of the live broadcast of their show earlier today!

zooey and ben

2009-09-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

got married. they look like a couple i would know from college. super cute together- kind of expected (they've been engaged for almost a year) love his tunes- and i'm sure they're beautifully and in sync-ly awkward. but i still think he's a weird lookin dude.

edit: i should say i did NOT take this picture and found it via google from mtvasia.com

been digging

2009-09-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

I've been playing around with old pictures since I've started working and have not been able to shoot on my own as much. When you're taking pictures of kids all day as a full time job, it doesn't leave you much energy to do much else - which is extremely unfortunate. I'm going to have to start giving myself assignments to keep me going.

Anyway - I have been re-editing some pictures I took of my friend Liz. One of the images was posted here last time and I thought I'd show a bit more. I've been obsessed with doing a doll-inspired shoot for a while and was so glad I was able to do this.

I'm back

2009-07-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

I was gone for a month cause I went to Europe and did not even bother keeping my blog updated. Terrible. I didn't even think of it. My excuse is, it would have been really inconsiderate to hog the computer for that long at any of the hostels I stayed at. I also wasn't too keen on loading my pictures onto their computer so I can post it on here. So if you're really curious what my Europe trip looked like.. you're going to have to just add me on Facebook.

I went to about 6 countries in a month which was definitely a lot - but no worries. We got to see everything we wanted. Although, to be honest. I guess we could have spent the entire month in any one country. This was a taste of Europe tour for sure. London-Barcelona-Madrid-Paris-Brussels-Brugges-Amsterdam-Berlin-Heidelberg-Bern-Interlaken. Wow that's a lot. We (my best friend, her twin, and I) spent about 3-4 nights in each place. Definitely enough time before we got bored and moved on- and DEFINITELY the American way of visiting a new place.

Anyway. I have so much to say it's ridiculous: Differences between Europeans and Americans, my newly found motivation and creativity post Europe trip, predicting MJ's death and the devastation of realizing this could all actually happen, the disappointment in the intense media coverage of MJ, being back in Boston, finding work, and my new haircut.

I can't go into it all, but those are the topics running through my brain at the moment.

I leave with you with a photo I took of my friend Liz before I left Boston. I turned her into a doll. One feeling completely lost and left out from other dolls because she's quite different isn't she? (being human and all) It's sort of how I felt after graduation. Somewhat alone, completely lost with all the talk of work work work, and really anxious. I realize now, there is no need to rush. Let everyone do what they need to and let me do what I need to. I'll be okay.

I'm sorry Mr. Jones

2009-05-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

I keep forgetting this blog exists and that I DO have a place I can rant on when I can't fall asleep at night.

I often keep myself up before big events- my mind races with other thoughts. What am I going to put on this girl for my shoot on Monday when my go-to stylist is unavailable? Why did I start caring about grades in my undergraduate college career a little too late? (I am .1 points away from getting latin honors and I wish I didn't take that one math class my junior year- but not that it matters) -- and exactly-- what does it all matter in the end?

I'm having a hard time, like many others in my situation right now, figuring out what exactly I should be doing with my life. I feel as if everything as I know it will be coming to an end come this time tomorrow- after I've taken that last final. I don't mean to make my life any more dramatic than it really is. This is no movie. I know that by this time next year, I would have looked back on me today and say "You were wasting your time. Why can't you just let life happen and stop planning?"

I think that's a mistake we all make - every single day. But goddammit I can't help but wonder "what if."

And to top it all off- Ben Folds released his University A Capella album, which has gotten me to re-appreciate Ben Folds and his exquisite lyrics. Fred Jones Pt. 2, in particular, is to blame for having me think all these ridiculous thoughts and making life seem much bigger than it needs to be. Why do we bother caring so much? In the grand scheme of things, someone else will take my place as if I never existed -- and the world will move on and so will I.

friends first

2009-02-09T06:15:00.000-08:00

Taking close up shots of friends allows me to see them all in a different light. ha. almost literally. I think I will start a real collection of portraits. It's becoming one of my favorite things.

christopher

beth

hannah

I just get lost sometimes

2009-01-30T10:27:00.000-08:00

My original plan was to find a second job for the remainder of the school year so I could pay for my trip to Europe this summer. Very short term plans, I know. And then-- my mother told me I should just focus on my last semester in school, get the good grades that all asian parents want, and not worry so much about money.

.. and then she told me that she wants to give me my europe trip for a graduation present. (I swear I'm not spoiled. but her little announcement saved my life)

My second plan was to still get a job- because a little extra money couldn't hurt. But considering my education is paid for, my housing is also set, and my work study job covers food and a little bit of fun weekend activity time-- there's really no need to waste time working retail when I could do what I really need to do-- fucking take pictures.

I haven't had a shoot since the beginning of last semester because I didn't have the time. And now that I have all the time in the world, for some reason I'm trying to fill it up with doing something I'd probably hate just to make money.

I'm lucky as hell - and I don't even take advantage of it.

So - my ultimate goal is to REALLY (really this time) get this blogspot starting-- which means I need to get on shooting.

I have all these ideas, and now is the perfect time to play around with them.

Also- this fifteen year old photographer made me REALLY want to get on my feet.
http://eleanorhardwick.com/ (her site)
and one of her pictures below:

I keep sitting around complaining about how I have no time, or money, or blah blah- and I keep preaching about being creative with the little stuff you've got. It's about time I do what I say.

family traditions

2008-12-31T17:14:00.000-08:00

This is our parol this year, a Filipino lantern that is hung in every house in the Philippines and is our version of the Christmas tree.

For a long time, I resented my Filipino roots and constantly tried to convince myself that I was American and only American, whatever that really means. Besides, my family wasn't like the other Filipino families I had seen in America. We didn't know every other Filipinio family in almost every single neighborhood throughout the state. Us kids never really got into the break-dancing phenomenon. Growing up, I did everything I could to become more like my white friends and maybe even purposely disconnected myself from any Asian-associated groups in school as much as I could.

Now, I not only accept my heritage, but I understand why I resented it so much. It wasn't because I was ashamed to be Filipino, rather it was because Filipino-American culture has evolved into its own culture very different from what it really is. I could write an essay about what Filipino culture is and what it been translated to by Filipino-Americans, but that's not the point of this update.

I'm only able to articulate this finally after having a conversation with an old friend. I expressed some guilt for feeling the way I did for so long.

There are several reasons I bring this up now. Firstly, it's the holidays, or at least it's the time of the year when many traditional culture rituals often clash with the modern westernized celebrations. Throughout high school, I hated that I always had to be home way before midnight to celebrate the New Year with my family instead of partying with friends. My mom always ranted to me about how friends aren't the most important things in life-- it's family. This concept was ridiculous to me since I often consider my closest friends my family.

However, now that I am mature enough to communicate with my mother, I realize where all her nagging comes from. Now, I actually appreciate the fact that I have something that is traditional and filled with both family and cultural history that I can hold on to.

Another reason I bring this up is because my mother has become addicted to the Filipino channel. I hate it mostly because of the super cheesy game shows and the overly dramatic acting, but I enjoy watching the news-- especially around this time of the year, cause I learn so much about where the hell I came from.

With this amazing and eventful year coming to an end, I think finally accepting my culture and being proud of being both 100% Filipino and American is one of my most necessary accomplishments.

oh and of course.. we also had a tree this Christmas. ;) I think my mom really outdid herself this time.

current obsessions

2008-12-30T16:19:00.000-08:00

Since I have been home in New Jersey, I have done everything I can to take advantage of the idea of relaxation. It's a word I'm not used to at all and it seems every free chance I had, I was always trying to plan for something else-- as I ranted about in the last post. So, since I've been celebrating my second to last chance at complete unobligated freedom, I have rediscovered the beauty of laziness-- and without worries too!

It's okay too-- cause for the New Year, I'm going to try to be more on top of actually using this blog as my sort of creative notebook (better than using tons of paper and losing it all eh?)

Anyway- during my period of laziness, I have been playing video games and watching a lot of my favorite television series, Skins. I only wish we had tv this good in the U.S. I had seen random episodes abroad and then heard all these stories about how the plot lines were progressing and I had to play catch up-- and shit. I'm all out of episodes to watch and I'm trying to milk the show for everything it's got.

If anyone out there reading has never heard of it, I suggest you get to searching the internet for some episodes (or rather buy the series legally off itunes). It's amazing-- and this picture almost perfectly explains it. Mind the text, don't know which series they are talking about that's coming up, and for all I know this could be an old as hell poster, but it's beautiful anyway.

Taking a breather

2008-12-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been neglecting the blog for a while. My brain has been a whirlwind the past few weeks as I consider the significance of the fact that this is my last fall semester in college. I've been trying to plan my life after college and have thought of everything from working at MILK studios again, trying to find an internship somewhere, or just letting life take me. I think the best thing for me to do, and to keep my sanity, is to just calm down and enjoy the present.

I think my least favorite quality about myself is my need to plan out everything. I never thought of myself as a Type A personality, but it seems I really am. I'm not sure if it's just being in school that's turned me into this very anal person, but I swear I have lived on the edge at some point.

This is why I miss New York and London. I'm not sure if it's the actual memories I have associated with the places or the fact that there is so much distraction that I can just float on and still feel secure.

I'm beginning to forget what it's like to take risks. Please, somebody remind me that not finding a job the minute I graduate doesn't mean the world will end.

comme des garcons

2008-11-14T05:54:00.000-08:00

OH YEA.

Yesterday is when the Commes Des Garcons line hit H&M in the U.S. Unfortunately (for me) it was only released in New York City, Chicago, LA, San Fran, and West Hollywood... NOT BOSTON.

Because Boston is lame sometimes. Not like I would have been able to afford anything from the collection anyway.. because I am a photographer-- and super broke-- and old enough to have to worry about bills. terrible. what is this growing up business?

anyway. hope everyone who got to go to h&m in those cities got to check out the collection yesterday.

Being Home

2008-11-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

I went back to Jersey last weekend to take a break from Boston. I spent most of my time in NYC and I realized how much more excited I am about things when I'm there. There's a greater variety in people, things to see, places to go, things to look forward to. I guess it isn't fair that I'm comparing a place where I'm going to school to a place where my summers of awesome opportunities happen.

But anyway- I may have gotten a little splurge of inspiration back in my system. I'm working on getting another photo shoot together-- I like to make my friends suffer along with me for my passion. It will be something along the lines of a blackbird--in motion--dancing its last dance before winter. And I will totally play Blackbird by the Beatles throughout the entire shoot just to be annoying. expect a few pictures then next week.

cheers,
Kaia

We got it right this time.. or left.

2008-11-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I doubted America- but honestly, I must say, weeks prior to November 4th, I was so scared that voters were going to let superficial thoughts get in the way of making the right decision. Obama said it best last night, we are not a red state or a blue state, we are the UNITED states.

I have never been more proud to be American.

I've only been around for two decades- I can't wait to see what the next few years will bring.

still a lack of inspiration

2008-10-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

I used to have a livejournal as I'm sure many people once had.
I looked at it briefly and I feel my photographs were so much stronger then. I really hate to dwell on this idea, but I feel like the more I have to take on assignments for this class, the less I am inspired to actually take pictures.

I used to pay so much closer attention to detail because I wasn't ever forced to. I used to see patterns in the world around me and enjoy seeing everything as a photograph. I used to think it was a burden because I would cringe every time I saw anything beautiful that I wasn't able to take a picture of.

This weekend is Micah's and my second anniversary of being together. I'm quite excited because we'll be able to enjoy each other's company without the distractions of the real world. I'm leaving all thoughts of assignments behind and I hope he will be able to forget about work completely for the weekend as well. I am going to bring my camera everywhere. I hope I'll be able to get back into my usual swing of things- finding inspiration around me. Wish me luck.

Here is a picture I found in an old livejournal entry. I took it somewhere in Newport, RI.. I like it a lot. Even if Professor Southwick may disagree. Bless that man haha.

that's just exactly how i feel.

why school why?

2008-10-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

This has become my routine:
Schedule photo stories for my photojournalism class, interview people from South Boston to write an article for my journalism class, find some time to pretend to work on my ad for that graphic design class, and then bullshit for sociology while i spend hours sitting at the art gallery while i get paid- not very much i should add- but it's work study so that's good enough. Really- this is my schedule not just for during the week, but for the weekends as well. Any time I have off, I make dinner with Micah or just relax - for about half an hour.

It's depressing. Especially since it leaves me no time to work on any personal shoots. I feel a bit discouraged and uninspired as well - since I'm now going to school for something I have completely lost any passion for. Although, it'd be nice to think I can save the world and document history through photographs. maybe. anyway here are some bits and pieces from random photo stories I had to shoot for my class. (I am being very inconsistent with capitalizing- perhaps I'm just getting lazy with grammar thanks to SCHOOL gah)

cheers.

Good Faith Tattoos: After shooting this, I really wanted to get a tattoo for myself, which could lead to some potential drawn out arguments with my mother. Probably not worth it. (I would have done it three years ago just to piss her off. I've lost the rebel in me.)

Boston designer, Sam Mendoza's Bombay! Bombay!

Allston Bike Polo

that's all for now. I left out a lot cause that would just be an overkill of pictures. mind you this is a photography blog- but it's 10:30 on a thursday. time to play.

coming soon:
the head of the charles rowing regatta (a requirement for my class)- it's apparently the largest rowing regatta in the world. collars up.

and- the Boston College High School cheerleaders. go team.

Morgan and Micah

2008-09-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back at school for the semester - and although Boston is nothing at all like New York, it does have some benefits. Boston is a college town -- with tons of new talent and a lot of extremely creative people. It is by no means as diverse as New York -- but since I've only got a year left here - I've got to find a way to make the best of it no?

Being here definitely has allowed me to focus a little bit more on my own photography. I'm starting small-- hopefully by the end of the year, I'll get the shoots out of my apartment and will have a better portfolio put together. Thanks to all the amazing people who have helped so far. Hannah especially. Keep me motivated.

Morgan:

Micah:

Shoots in my apartment. Micah styled by me. Morgan styled by Hannah Kraus.

Zaha Hadid - Chanel Mobile Art

2008-08-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Chanel and architect Zaha Hadid collaborated a few months ago to design the structure for Chanel's Mobile Art Show. The exhibition debuted in Hong Kong in February and will make its rounds through several other international cities including Tokyo, New York,London, Moscow, and Paris. The art show will be coming to New York October 20th and will only be around for two weeks. I'm really excited because ever since I saw images of architecture, I've been wanting to see it in person. It really is a genius design.

Image by dawvon on Flickr.com

It's been a while

2008-08-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there are other people who go through these kinds of phases-- I know I'm not alone. But venting always helps. I'm talking about the period between the hectic and inspirational weeks when I start doubting myself and what I've been working at all summer. I've noticed that any time I'm not taking pictures or being very involved with photography, I actually feel lost. Maybe it's a good sign - I just wish it didn't feel so terrible.

I can't wait for the school year to start. I think I'm going to become a bit more active with this blog. Starting right now.

This is extremely old - two months old, but I think I'll post the pictures anyway. They are some of my favorites from a shoot with Juliana in the beginning of the summer--

marianne

2008-06-03T06:34:00.001-07:00

Click on each photo to enlarge.

re-appreciation

2007-09-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

I thought I was already bored of this place and ready to return home where I'm closer to what I considered a "real" city. But I realized last weekend that the places in Boston that I used to find beautiful and thought had bored me out are still as magnificent as always. I also found new places that I have not yet mastered.

daydream rant from the boston university art gallery

2007-09-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

A song resonates throughout the gallery halls. Though few who stare into the hung photographs even recognize it, I sit behind my desk finding myself getting lost in some recent past that I would kill to relive.
I remember the fogged windows in the car. It was summer, but we kept the heat on low because outside the ocean created a nice chill. And that song came through the car speakers and we looked out our windows at Manhattan Beach below.. far below from the hills of the Palos Verdes estates. We couldn't find our way to the edge so we could get a better view. We made U-turn after U-turn and still could not find the hidden roads we needed. So we headed back down through Redondo Beach and killed time till our eyes felt sore and tired.
The song comes to an end.. I'm back at my desk with my Urban Sociology text book opened to page 42. The Fourth Edition.. by John J. Macionis and Vincent N. Parrillo. My notes are beginning to look more like useless chicken scratches. But I can still feel the ocean chill.. or maybe it's just the fall approaching New England...

The next track begins and I wish it could be summer again.

my muse

2007-09-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

this past friday, micah was my model for my experiment at the new england school of photography with setting up studio equipment by myself. with the help of my fellow classmate, rosanne, we found a set up we learned in class that was easy enough for us to mimic and this was our product. micah is shy. and sometimes i feel like he hates when i make him stand in front of my camera lens. but i feel comfortable shooting him and he feels comfortable with me and he is always my favorite subject.